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after 3.5 hours of sleep....   
06:58am 24/05/2006
mood: sleepy
i am not a happy girl at all!

my night.... well at about 1 in the morning i decided to go to jason's house cuz i needed someone to talk to after getting off the phone with my boyfriend at 12:30am. me and jason talked about stuff til about 3/3:30 in the morning when i passed out from the tears and alchol combined. so needless to say i got a total of about 3.5 hours of sleep last night and i am tired as shit and not to happy.

it's 7 in the morning and i am at work....i just wanna go home to my bed and sleep some of this off.
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09:27am 16/05/2006
mood: productive
beach this weekend anyone wanna come? give me a call
08:56am 27/03/2006
mood: depressed
i need a guy FRIEND. you know one of those kinds of guys that want to be ur friend and NOTHING else....i just dont get why all guys want something more from me. it doesn't make any since. and i dont like it at all. i want to be able to have friends and not worry if they are going to want a realtionship.
05:04pm 13/03/2006
  i got a jeep! yay! it's beach time :)  
03:07pm 03/03/2006
mood: disappointed
wow it's been a long time since i wrote in here and i probably wouldn't be today other than the fact that i cant get into myspace at work....]

anywayz there is a point to this entry....

why is it so hard NOT to cry when you are upset. i mean i know that i wanna cry and i can feel it coming on, but i keep telling myself NOT to cry, but it sure it hard to listen. damn it i gotta do some work i dont have time to be upset. i feel so bad i just wanna go to the bathroom and puke and i would go make myself puke but i am scared to puke... and i gotta pee so damn bad but i know if i go in the bathroom (it's being alone...) i am going to cry my eyes out :'( somebody love me please.. :-\
finals week   
08:14am 06/12/2005
mood: calm
next week is finals week! iam excited yet not so much. i want this semester to be over but i don't wanna have to take the tests!
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last day   
01:25pm 14/11/2005
mood: cheerful
LAST DAY OF WORK!!! yay! start new job today!!
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02:52pm 04/11/2005
mood: chipper
it's friday!!!! i am so very very happy! i can't wait until it is 5 though. i only got 2 more hours. yay!
03:38pm 02/11/2005
mood: freezing my ass off
i put in my 2 weeks today. kinda feels funny knowing that i will only be working here for about 2 more weeks. kinda seems odd now. oh well i am happy. i will be making almost $4 more an hour. well we will see how it goes.
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11:29am 31/10/2005
mood: crazy
.: Get one @ PixelBee.com :.

.: Get one @ PixelBee.com :.
08:47am 31/10/2005
mood: lonely
do you ever get the feeling that you are going to screw up the best thing that has ever happened to u, just cuz you are scared of getting hurt or loosing out. i don't know why i do it, but i do and i think that i am screwing up a lot. i wish that i wasn't like this....
last night   
09:49am 26/10/2005
mood: tired
so last night i did a little bit of homework and all that good stuff. then i was planning on going to krystal's little party thing. but ended up that jason and christina called me. so i was like why not. ended up going there and hanging out for a while. some of the guys showed up and everything. i think i left there at about 1ish or so. went back to my house and slept. we hung out and watched a movie and drank a little bit. other than that the night went well. although i am tired as fuck. oh well shit happens.
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i feel icky   
05:46pm 25/10/2005
mood: sick
i suppose that it was bound to happen, i mean why not, i got sick last year on my b-day. well now i am not feeling 100% good. my eye really hurts and i get this feeling that it is going to turn into something else. my voice is slowly going and i think that i might be getting what my mommy had. i wanna sleep too :-\. well i went and got a new cell phone today, it is all high tech and shit. just thought that i would update this really quick and then get back to my homework.
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my b-day   
11:52pm 23/10/2005
mood: depressed and 21
for 8 more mins. yea so i am 21 now, most of my birthday was fuck up though. perry was fun other than the bitching and immature people, that if jays truck goes in feb. they wil NOT be going with me. other than seeing trucks (since i didn't get to get in one) play in the mud, my b-day kinda sucked. which perry wasn't ALL that, but i hope that it will be better if i go when jay has his truck.
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04:15pm 21/10/2005
mood: blah, my head hurts
i only got 2 days til my birthday :) yay! i'll be 21 soon :-D
confused and hurt   
02:13pm 19/10/2005
mood: confused
i don't know if i should be pissed off or crying; should i just give up totally? AHHHH!
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09:46am 19/10/2005
mood: loved
how do u know when u are REALLY in love? especially when u are someone who falls easily?...
i mean there was the first guy who won your heart and you could've sworn he was the one, but then you broke up. then there was that one, the one that you knew from the moment you layed eyes on him, he was something special. and then after dating for a while, he broke your heart (only after you left someone just to get back together with him). then shortly after the two of you split and hated each other, he was dating someone else, so you met this guy (that you had sorta been talking to anywayz) and started dating him. now this one was something else. this was the one that you actually day dreamed about and he filled in that spot, you know the one that you never really saw a face in. you saw yourself marrying him and having children together, which is something that had never happened before. but how were you to let him know how you felt, your relationship wasn't that serious yet. then of course he turned out to be a total ass hole and you broke up. so for about the next year or so, you just dated a few guys to make yourself happy and to be with someone. sometime in this year you started hanging out with that ex, you know the special one, and his girlfriend, which you were fine with. you were happy and having a good time with them. then you kinda quit hanging out with him and broke up with that last 'time waster'. well that special one wanted to get back with you, and well you wanted to but were scared to do so. anywayz point of the story you got back together. and now you love him more than anything in the world.
i guess the question i am asking is, how can someone think that they are in love so many different times, but yet every 'love feeling' was totaly different?
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04:10pm 17/10/2005
mood: angry at a certian someone....
went to court this morning for gene. didn't turn out the best that it could have, but shit happens. at least he will be getting the kids a little more... and he isn't married to her anymore...that bitch....
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It's Friday!!!   
03:57pm 14/10/2005
mood: content
yay! i am so very excited. it is friday and i only have one hour til i get outta here. :)
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08:28pm 13/10/2005
mood: complacent
so i know that i have said b4 things about my so called friends that don't want me and matt to be together, and how they alwayz bitch about how he isn't good enough for me. well i figured out that these friends just aren't happy with their lives and they just don't want anyone else to be happy. i don't know why people have to act like this, if they aren't happy they should do something about it. i am happy otherwise i wouldn't still be with my baby, and if they can't deal with that they need to just get over it.
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